Yeah...I've been hiding from all of you...because I don't want to be truthful. It is just so damn hard to be consistent with my dreams when my reality keeps crashing in. I am not done with school, and that is a major priority to my overall foundation. As a matter of fact, working full time and school is my life right now. I had a few set backs with little things that a young woman in a city like Houston cannot afford to live without to get by (cash, car, consistent income, etc.) . Once I have finally caught up on one thing...another road block occurs. Never made it back to the studio since late May, early June and my vocal coach and I have been two months out. I know I shouldn't bare my musical struggles to all of you...but we are at the beginning, and I am writing this NOW while I am still unknown, haha! I am also writing this as a therapy to face my reality about how I am handling my priorities, my hustle, etc. I have the craziest ideas right now on the writing tip, and I think that my poetry has triggered a big flow of ideas that I cannot seem to pin down at the moment in priority to my school work, haha! Maxwell...my musical muse and musical weakness at the moment! And this girl, DeLeon, the gospel singer...very unique blend of R&B into gospel, that girl is totally underrated, and I love her current album. I am just praying to the Lord to align everything to come at the right time. I still have so much that I want to do with music before the end of the year, and I just need to remove the blindfold that is holding me back. I guess, I am just a little scared that I will overdue things as I have in the past, and everything will come crashing down. I am a woman of God, and I know better than to reflect on the past and panic to take risk based on the past...I guess that is just my human side speaking. I really miss the studio, I miss being on stage and I miss the music conferences, music mentors...everything. I am just at this final push with school...I have to finish my education now and have a sincere validation to stand on my own two feet as a business woman with this degree and use it as a tool to assist me in my efforts to go into music. One major thing that I will state is that I fully respect artist like Alicia Keys and Amerie, and their journey into education. If I am correct, Amerie got that degree before the record deal! *smiles* I feel like it is so important to validate yourself and status in such an aggressive industry. Not everyone has to be the 12, 15 or 18 year old star discovered in their primitive years. The industry can certainly afford to gain more twenty-somethings and thirty-somethings who are still youthful, poised and have a life story to solidify through their music. I mean, Susan Boyle is near her Golden Years and finally got her break! God is good! Anything is possible, and I have to keep reminding myself of that! *giggles* I know all will be ok...as long as I preserver this talent that God has given me and start to comply my game plan very carefully. Now...back to this Maxwell deal...that album has me doing flips and jumps all over my room! Very well crafted! This is what soul music should be like! He raised the bar...and my boyfriend better pray that I don't ever meet that man in person...too sexy! Haha! Loving his essence! I knew I wasn't crazy back in grade school for checking him out with that wild hair! Haha! Just kidding around, but on a real deal...I don't want to loose my passion...and I don't want to loose my chance to be a college graduate. Atlanta keeps coming to my mind...constantly...as though God wants me to plant a seed in that city. I know Houston will be my playground to practice, but I need to figure out why and WHO most importantly, the Lord wants me to align myself with in that city. I will pray on it. Hey, if you are reading this...reach out to me...positive or negative...it will help me to know what you think. Life will be just fine. Good night family...
One Luv & God Bless,
P.S. It's almost 9/11...I want to dedicate this entry to all of our lost families, friends and service men and women, and the their living families affected by the events of almost a decade ago. We will never forget the tragedy, but by the grace of God, we continue to live on and stay strong for our current and future generations to come. God bless America! And Nigeria too! I'm Naija-American y'all, haha! G'nite! *kisses & hugs*